Demoralization in the Dressing Room
It's happened again. I'm officially a fatass. It sort of creeped up on me this time. I know it happened over the summer, as I got out of my exercise routine and got into my old bad habits. I've started exercising again, but that's not enough for a girl like me. I have to work my ass off AND eat right, or I'm going to be shopping at Lane Bryant before I know it.
There's nothing like the three-way mirrors and the harsh lighting of a women's dressing room to clue you in to the ugly truth. A little voice way back in my head had been hinting that I had ruined all the hard work I had done to get skinny after My Little Sunshine was born. I told that bitch to shut up and go get me some Ben and Jerry's. After spending a few miserable hours in the mall trying on clothes to wear to our friend's wedding this weekend, I have to admit that little bitch is right, as always. God, I hate her.
So, I'm saying it here and now. After I return home from the wedding, it's back on the Self-Improvement Program, or SIP as it's often been called among our friends. It will be my goal to get hot again before The Luckbox and Lady Luck get married in January. I know that's going to be a hard time to lose weight given that it will be the holiday season, but I'm finished being lumpy.
It pisses me off that I have to be so constantly vigilant about my weight. There are so many people who can eat whatever the hell they want and not exercise (Soul Mate) for years at a time and not gain any weight. I hate them all. They suck. It's just not fair. I hate having to go through life counting calories and depriving myself of all things yummy. That's a real pisser.
On an entirely different note, the MTV VMAs may not revive Britney Spears' music career, but the show has certainly revived the interest in her snatch. My Google hits for "Britney's snatch" have skyrocketed since her pathetic performance the other night. God, you people really need to get a life! There's got to be a better, less nasty snatch you can look at on the internet. And some of you pathetic people are searching for her pink parts at work. Hope your bosses aren't spying on you. That should be grounds for firing on the basis of stupid. Geez.
There's nothing like the three-way mirrors and the harsh lighting of a women's dressing room to clue you in to the ugly truth. A little voice way back in my head had been hinting that I had ruined all the hard work I had done to get skinny after My Little Sunshine was born. I told that bitch to shut up and go get me some Ben and Jerry's. After spending a few miserable hours in the mall trying on clothes to wear to our friend's wedding this weekend, I have to admit that little bitch is right, as always. God, I hate her.
So, I'm saying it here and now. After I return home from the wedding, it's back on the Self-Improvement Program, or SIP as it's often been called among our friends. It will be my goal to get hot again before The Luckbox and Lady Luck get married in January. I know that's going to be a hard time to lose weight given that it will be the holiday season, but I'm finished being lumpy.
It pisses me off that I have to be so constantly vigilant about my weight. There are so many people who can eat whatever the hell they want and not exercise (Soul Mate) for years at a time and not gain any weight. I hate them all. They suck. It's just not fair. I hate having to go through life counting calories and depriving myself of all things yummy. That's a real pisser.
On an entirely different note, the MTV VMAs may not revive Britney Spears' music career, but the show has certainly revived the interest in her snatch. My Google hits for "Britney's snatch" have skyrocketed since her pathetic performance the other night. God, you people really need to get a life! There's got to be a better, less nasty snatch you can look at on the internet. And some of you pathetic people are searching for her pink parts at work. Hope your bosses aren't spying on you. That should be grounds for firing on the basis of stupid. Geez.
Labels: Britney Spears, Weight


4 Comments:
I think you look great, Mrs. Otis.
I feel ya' pain! I despise people who are simply naturally "skinny!"
I also have had to accept that I'm just not naturally built like a stick and decided that I'm not willing to fight so hard to be something I'm not. I made my way back from the Anorexia grave once when I was 22. Not willing to do that again. Now I just settle for existing somewhere between "not skinny" and "not fat." The perk? I eat whatever the heck I like. It keeps my weight stable and eliminates binging.
I figure I only weigh 10 pounds more than I did on my wedding day nearly 11 years ago and I've created two human beings in this body and hit the 35 years old mark since then. I say that's not bad. Especially considering that I refuse to diet.
I wish you the best on whatever you decide to do, just don't compromise your emotional well-being for the sake of some really stupid ideal that our culture forces on women.
As long as you and G-Rob aren't sharing clothes, I'd say you're OK. Kit-Kat?
Um, I can hardly believe you are a fat-A@@. In fact, I am willing to believe that you look wonderful and have plenty of energy to run around with Little Sunshine!!!
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